I have so much to update about, summer fun and first days of school but tonight I have something I want to remember.
I have spent endless hours preparing my classroom, meeting new faces, teaching all day, planning all night and today, I spent ALL day with my babies. It was great! They woke up WAY too early for a Saturday but we made the best of it by snuggling on the couch with books and a movie (and coffee!). We played magnatiles and laughed as Easton Godzillaed my creations. We watched daddy get soaked in a dunk tank and the boys rode rides together at a carnival. We went to Topeka to hang with B, play toys, watch movies, eat pizza, and played outside.
As I drove my pajamaed dudes home I listened as Easton searched for his moon and when he finally found it, he requested that I get it for him. Logan argued that he couldn't get the moon until he passed away and went to Heaven. Easton was not buying it and continued his requests. I told him he should try closing his eyes and maybe he would catch it in his dreams.
Thirty minutes outside of home they finally dozed off. I pulled into our driveway, carefully removed the keys and tried to be as quiet as possible to open my door. I decided to get the big man out first, he was HUGE and very heavy! I tried to think back to the last time I actually carried him in my arms and was reminded of all of the times when he was little and we would dance around the kitchen to "Big Green Tractor." I slowly carried that 60 lb. boy into his room in our quiet, dark house and held him a bit longer, unsure of the next time I would carry him and if at that time I would be able to. I sat on the edge of his bed with him in my arms well aware that I was being like the creepy mommy in I'll Love You Forever but I just couldn't help it. In my arms I held my son who started off so frail, who I wanted more than anything, who was 3 years old the last time I can remember him sleeping on me, and I just couldn't put him down. I held him a couple minutes longer and thanked God for this amazing blessing that motherhood is. I whispered to him that I loved him and he whispered it back. In just 11 short days he will be six, how did this happen.
I slipped out of his room and back to the garage to get sleepy dude number two. I stared at that little toe head with his pouty lips and remembered the first moment I saw him and how his lips looked just the same. I scooped him up, a much easier feat than with #1, and gave him a snuggle and kiss. I cherished his little body in my arms and the ease of lifting him in his crib because I was reminded that all too soon he will be a big boy just like his brother.
These dudes try my patience every chance they get but they fill my heart with a joy that I never knew until they entered my world. Tonight I was talking with another couple about our struggles to have children and how difficult their births were. I can feel the longing to be a mother like it was yesterday. I am incredibly blessed to have these babies in my life and I know that they were chosen just for us. I just wanted to put this down so I can remember it always.
Amen! What a heartwarming memoir. I too look at my grandson's and thank GOD for these miracles. I look at them and am reminded of how their lives had such a tumultuous beginning, but they both fought with all their might and inspired all of us with their strength. My daughter sees children with different eyes then she did before these boys came into her life. She is a better mother because of them. These boys will go far. Logan the architect and Easton the professional ball player. Cherish every moment.
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